the means to ruin
by me myself and ink
Summary: Wally and Barry son/father-ish fluff. kind of. i think. not very good, lot of spelling mistakes and all i'll fix eventually. i just neede to kinda get this story out of my system. wally's mom hasnt actually been his mom in a long time. t for a cus word.


**Hey everybody. I'm new. Not really, but I haven't actually written a YJ story before.**

**Anyway, just to explain this to you, here's how my brain works. I come up with the first sentence of the story. Then I just keep writing. So, I currently have absolutely NO idea how this is going to turn out, or what this is even going to BE bout. Except that itll have some wally and roy brother fluffyness, cause who doesn love the stuff? Its practically a drug its so addictive ;). And I have no idea weather this is going to be a one shot or a to shot or a multi chapter story or what. So…. Ya. Sorry if it sucks. Expecting a ton of reviews if it rocks. Rated t because I have no idea what anything should be classified nowadays. (seriously, I read a story that was about rape and it was rated K. honestly, whats wrong with us?)**

**The means to ruin ~ wally**

_Hatred is not a means to an end._

_Hatred is the fire that fules all things. it is a vile, unworthy feeling that plants its seeds in your mind and grows and adapts to the world just like you. It gathers all your unwanted or unwarranted emotions and projects them onto things that you have no right to hate._

_Its like the flame that fuled the fire. It starts small and it builds and builds and builds until all you know is a world of things you cannot love. Hatred is what controls the world. It controls war. It controls heart. It controls what makes people who they are._

_Hatred, is what controls the one person, on the other side of the gun. _

_And hatred is what pulls the trigger._

"hello?"

"hey kid, you up for another patrol?"

A smile played on my lips "sure uncle Barry. When?"

"I'll be by in a couple minutes, just finishing up some league stuff. Meet me at the park."

"k, by uncle Barry."

"by kid."

I grabbed my costume and mad my way down the stairs, at normal speed. my mom doesn't lie me using my powers in the house.

I could smell the turkey cooking now, the sweet smell of strawberries wafting there way to me from the kitchen.

I took one more whiff of the delicious sent and started towards the door, wishing that dinner had been finished before I had to leave.

_It is a burning feeling within you, that pushes all other emotions to the back of your mind, that makes your vision run red with the fire. And what makes you turn the world into your enemy._

_Hatred is the thing that has destroyed the world. It branches off into different feelings, different emotions that you yourself don't realize you were capable of until it was to late._

_Greed, jealousy, desire, shallow, and so , so many more._

"Wallace Rudolf west." Her tone was bitter, filled with unspoken poison "you will _not _disobey me, again."

"but I have to go" I pleaded "barry-"

"oh, barry _this_! Barry **that**! Barry _**everything**_!" she yelled, her voice wavering in anger "is that all you care about? IS IT! all you want to do all day is dress up in your little costume and play hero with you uncle, huh?"

I stared wide eyed, slowly backing away, towards the door

"where do you think your going!" she screeched, the words like nails on a chalk boarded.

I took another step back

"**FINE!**" her face was red, her hands clenched in fists "if you want to go, then GO! Go, and don't. **come. BACK!"**

What? No, what's going on? Why is she so angry? She's never been this angry before. I mean, patrol is a regular thing. It only last about 10 minutes. Its not like I have a good reason for going.

Its not like I have a good reason to stay.

_hatred can turn you against your loved ones. It can make you push them away to the point you can never get them back._

_Hatred can tear the world apart._

_It leaves destruction, and sorrow in its wake. Leaving the lost soles to find there way across the ash covered grown alone._

_Hatred is not a means to an end. _

_Hatred, is a means to ruin. _

"so." My mother stared at me intently, her eyes filled with flashing emotions "are you going to stay, or are you going to go?"

My voice was stuck in my through, the slick fabric of my uniform grasped tightly in my hand. I glanced down at it for he briefest of moments, and i looked back up at my mother.

But that wasn't quite right. The woman in front of me now, the sole clenched in anger and madness, this wasn't my mother.

my mother had been a loving caring, _beautiful _woman. The kind of mother who would hold me close and whisper sweet nothings as I cried myself to sleep when my father left. She was the mother who would always be awake before I was, smiling and bright eyed with a stack of pancakes and eggs waiting for me. she was the kind of person to never hate, to never leave behind who she loved.

But this woman, she was vile. She stared at the world in disgust and disdain and wondered who exactly had screwed her life up. This woman that stared at me now was so far gone I could never hope to reach her. This woman was not my mother.

This woman hadn't been my mother for a long time.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. the fabric in my had that much more enticing. I looked up at the woman one more time.

It was such a strange feeling. It was loss and grief, and sadness. But it was also freedom. Happiness. Calm.

The choice wasn't as hard as I thought.

"I'm sorry all the food is going to go to waste" I say simply. I only stay long enough to see the look on her face.

_It kills people. From the inside out. Without hatred, we would not have war. Without hatred, we would not have violence. Without hatred, we would not all be so alone._

Her eyes were wide, her eyebrows scrunched together, her head tilted up ever so slightly as if she were trying not to choke on her words, and her eyes were wet.

But for some reason, I really didn't care.

By the time I reached the park I was already dressed in my kid flash outfit, with 8 minutes to spare.

_Hatred is the flame that fuels the fire._

_The fire is destruction, and pain, and loss, and anger, and every other emotion that causes pain. _

_But without the fire, there would not be room for love. There would not be room for compassion. Or joy. Or freedom._

"hey uncle Barry." I say as he appears out of thin air, a gust of wind trailing behind him.

"hey kid, sorry I'm late." He says this with a smirk, like he always does. As if I should no better by now not to show up when he says to because he's never actually on time.

And as he stares at me expectantly with that smile on his face, I realize just how much more of a family he and iris are to me than my actual parents.

"you ready to go?"

"not quite" I reply, gauging his reactions "I need to talk to you."

He looks a little worried now "about what?"

"she kicked me out." I replied evenly. It was so odd to call her my mother now, even in my mind, that I just couldn't bring myself to say it out loud.

But I didn't need to. He knew who I meant. Weather it was from the look on my face or the fact he just knew me enough, im not sure. But it doesn't really matter. He knew, and that's all that really counts.

"oh, kid" he says, pulling me into a tight hug "are you okay?"

I don't say anything at first. There's a lump in my through and suddenly I don't want to talk.

He pulls away from me for a second, after I didn't answer. His hands are locked firmly n my shoulder and I can feel drops of water trickling down my face.

"it's gunna be okay Wally." He says. It takes me a moment to realize that he's just called me by my real name in out superhero costumes.

It takes me another moment to realize that it's not raining.

"What am I supposed to do?" I say barley a whisper. More tears trickle down my face and onto the pavement below.

"you live." was the only thing he said "come on, we already did patrol today it won't hurt to skip out on one."

"where are we going?"

"were going to your old house to pick up your stuff."

"wait" I say, stopping in my tracks "why?"

He game his blinding smile "because you're going to need your stuff if your living with us."

I couldn't really help the smile that practically split my face.

_Hatred is the means to ruin._

_but ruin is the means to a new beginning._


End file.
